A timid orphan with an extraordinary gift, is horrified to learn that if she fails to defeat a powerful inter-dimensional being, she will be become his accomplice in the destruction of her world.
zone4Penpusher
A timid orphan with an extraordinary gift, is horrified to learn that if she fails to defeat a powerful inter-dimensional being, she will be become his accomplice in the destruction of her world.
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The story is unclear because there are many vague descriptions in the logline.
What is the “?extraordinary gift?”?
What makes the bad guy powerful?
What is an “…inter-dimensional being?”? What will he or she look like? What danger does he or she pose to Earth?
In addition, there is no definitive start and end point for the story. What is the inciting incident for the main character? What motivates the MC and?sets the story in motion? And what is her goal?
The primary purpose of a logline is to succinctly describe a plot, but in this instance without a clear inciting incident, motivation and goal the plot is all but missing.
This certainly piques my interest, but I agree that the “extraordinary gift” should be described. I imagine it’s something supernatural. What is the inter-dimensional being trying to accomplish? Why is only her world and not the entire world threatened?
As Nir Shelter said. ?The “extraordinary gift” is vague; it needs to be specific. ??And what is the inciting incident which ?leads her to realize she must use her “extraordinary gift”?