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EethanSamurai
Posted: August 9, 20162016-08-09T16:04:20+10:00 2016-08-09T16:04:20+10:00In: Thriller

A true-blue beat cop volunteers as Internal Affair?s snitch to root out an anonymous traitor when seized drugs surface in his cloistered community.

A true-blue beat cop volunteers as Internal Affair?s snitch to root out an anonymous traitor when seized drugs surface in his cloistered community.
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    4 Reviews

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    1. [Deleted User]
      2016-08-09T16:25:34+10:00Added an answer on August 9, 2016 at 4:25 pm

      So many adjectives! Try and cut some of them back and use the words to describe what sets this story apart from things like?The Departed?or even?Internal Affairs.?Look at?L.A. Confidential?which did it well. I would focus on the volunteering aspect and flesh that out as that is unique and explain why your character does. How does it link to his story?

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    2. Gaenhart Logliner
      2016-08-09T23:16:46+10:00Added an answer on August 9, 2016 at 11:16 pm

      Just reorganize this one a little. When drugs surface in his cloistered community, ?a?true-blue beat cop volunteers as Internal Affair?s snitch to root out?the?traitor.
      Maybe there’s another way to say ‘seized drugs’…

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    3. dpg Singularity
      2016-08-10T00:03:06+10:00Added an answer on August 10, 2016 at 12:03 am

      “Cloistered community” ?What does that refer to? ?Cops do tend to bond with their brethren-in-blue ?and live in tight-knit social groups — but for darn sure they don’t work in cloistered communities.

      And the theft of drugs being held in custody is a fairly common gimmick for kick starting a plot about corrupt cops — from “Witness” (1985) ?to ?”American Gangster” (2007). ?I don’t see any fresh take on that plot ploy in this logline.

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    4. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2016-08-10T14:13:46+10:00Added an answer on August 10, 2016 at 2:13 pm

      Agreed with, DPG and Gaerhart in the above comments.
      It’s hard to understand the concept from the logline, and the premise seems generic. I suggest you use personal stakes, character flaws and unique obstacles to make the premise more interesting.

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