Logliner
Posted: 2017-02-01T21:41:04+10:00 In:

A victim of inner turmoil, twenty-year-old Stephanie disastrously endeavors to reclaim her joy and happiness.

A victim of inner turmoil, twenty-year-old Stephanie disastrously endeavors to reclaim her joy and happiness.
Share

    Post a review

    You must login to add an answer.

    To see everything,

    3 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      “Stephanie”: ?As a rule, fictional characters are not identified by name. ?Rather they are identified by a defining characteristic, a strength or vulnerability that is relevant to the protagonist’s objective goal.

      “Inner turmoil” — what’s the visual? Film is visual medium and every word relating to conflict should be about external activity that can be shown on the screen.

      “Disastrously endeavors to reclaim her joy and happiness.” Again, what’s the visual? Loglines are striving for objective goals, not fulfilling subjective wants or achieving desired states of mind. ?(Which in any case, are the consequence of reaching an objective goal.)

      What is her objective goal?
      Who or what opposes her?
      What’s at stake?

      You might want to check out “formula” at the top of the web page for guidelines on writing an industry standard logline.

      • 0
    2. Singularity

      You should define ‘happiness’ in the context of the story. Is happiness getting “Mr. Right”, is it being hired at her dream job? Is it finishing her great American Novel?

      Because, as written it is hard to tell what the story is about.

      So add a few specifics and your logline will greatly improve.

      • 0
    3. Logliner

      Hi Gerald. I’m curious about what happened to her that caused her inner turmoil. I’m guessing it’s a traumatic situation… or maybe not. It’s not clear. Also, you can find joy and happiness in a wide variety of things. For some it’s money, for some it’s love, for other it’s eating chocolate. I’m thinking that if she suffered because of something, she’s feeling incomplete. Her goal then may be to regain that or just getting to know what is that something she lost. Cheers.

      • 0