A whiny arrogant owner of a store is being visited by three different spirits in order for him to preserve and save his relations with his closed ones.
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A whiny arrogant owner of a store is being visited by three different spirits in order for him to preserve and save his relations with his closed ones.
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A protagonist should be proactive. ?But the “whiny arrogant owner” seems more reactive than proactive, more acted upon by the spirits than acting of his own accord.
As a result of the visitation, what becomes his objective goal? ?What must he do? ?How specifically must he “preserve and save his relations”?
And who/what opposes him?
And what’s at stake? ?What is lost or suffered if he fails, gained if he succeeds?
The “Christmas carol” story line has been done quite a bit, not just in movies but it seems every long running TV series eventually runs out of ideas and does a “Christmas Carol” episode. As a result you need a good hook. Something that will draw in the reader. Something that will make it stand out.
For instance, in a Christmas carol, scrooge is greedy, but after his visits from the three ghosts he realizes what’s really important are the relationships we have and the people we care about. In order to stand the story on it’s head maybe have a meek guy who is taught by three ghosts to be more greedy and to stand up for himself.
Agreed with the above.
Is there a specific event that happens or action he does that makes the spirits visit him? You could make t so as a result of him doing one selfish act the spirits decide he needs to learn a lesson – in other words give him an inciting incident instead of a random visit for being a douche.
On? a side note, like Richiev I think this needs a distinctive element to help it stand out from the many other stories of a similar premise.