A woman is found drifting naked in space, with no memory of who she is, how she has destructive abilities or why she is immortal. She sets out to find an imprisoned space drifter like her, only to be hunted by those terrified of who they may be…. and who they may become.
ShadowolfdgPenpusher
A woman is found drifting naked in space, with no memory of who she is, how she has destructive abilities or why she is immortal. She sets out to find an imprisoned space drifter like her, only to be hunted by those terrified of who they may be…. and who they may become.
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The concept in this logline is vague.
I like the idea of such a mysterious opening image as a woman floating in space, however the promise of more to come is not delivered on due to lack of plot descriptions.
What happens to her that motivates her to have to find another space drifter or fight people that are after her? What is her inciting incident?
What does she want to do??What is her must achieve goal as a result of the inciting incident?
The two must connect in a cause and effect relationship – one motivate the other, however in the original logline her waking up in space doesn’t logically connect with her fighting people on the hunt after her.
Check out the training tab on the top bar for more information on how to write good loglines.
Most good loglines do not exceed 30 words, and yet with in those precious few lines so much is told – the key is economy.
It’s not so much that you should include more words in future drafts of your logline, on the contrary in fact I’d say you need less, it’s that you should only describe the plot critical elements.
Inciting incident, main character, main character flaw, antagonist (if necessary) and goal are all that a logline really needs.