A young female assassin becomes the target when her ex-SAS uncle comes looking for revenge for the murder of his brother, her abusive father.

The logline doesn’t focus on what the heroine does/has to do. Rather it revolves around the inciting incident. The story only starts when the father comes after her. Now what is she going to do? Technically we can predict what will happen but it sounds better if the logline is written from the main character’s objective.

‘Young’ doesn’t add much value. Is there a character journey? What does she learn? How does she change? Rather include the weakness/flaw if there is any.

Mind the repetitious sound of ‘becomes’/’comes’.

See if you can change the whole structure around. The sentence sounds unfortunate: “for revenge for”, “her .. uncle”, his brother, her … father”.

In terms of story I believe there can be a suspenseful movie but we would care more if we understand a little more about the character(s), hence the possible inclusion of a journey for her.