Logliner
Posted: 2017-07-05T16:00:34+10:00 In:

A young man and a woman are chosen by nature to give birth to the 10th Avatar of lord Vishnu i.e. the Kalki Avatar. But before that they have to undergo 10 severe tests set by the nature to make them strong and worthy of the task.

A young man and a woman are chosen by nature to give birth to the 10th Avatar of lord Vishnu i.e. the Kalki Avatar. But before that they have to undergo 10 severe tests set by the nature to make them strong and worthy of the task.
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    3 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      So is the story about them pushing through the trials in the lead up to the ‘grand shtup’? Or is it about them being selected for the ‘big bonk’ and accepting the challenges it intails? Or is the story going to cover them being selected, going through the trials, hanky-panky, and give birth?

      It sounds like the most interesting part is them facing the trials together – it’s the part of the story that has the most obstacles for them to overcome.

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    2. Uberwriter

      Dkp hit on all the right things. Just to add, explore the basics of the web site’s formula. I learned: GSU (Goal, stakes, urgency). And, keep it really simple telling the audience exactly what they will experience while watching your movie journey.

      A young man and a woman undergo a series of tests against nature to achieve ?___ before ___ happens.

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    3. Uberwriter

      “A young man and a woman are chosen by nature to give birth to the 10th Avatar of lord Vishnu i.e. the Kalki Avatar. But before that they have to undergo 10 severe tests set by the nature to make them strong and worthy of the task.”

      This story sounds interesting, but the logline can be polished. Just points:

      Age descriptions don’t help. Age can be implied through other adjectives and it doesn’t tell the logline reader anything about the plot or something important about the characters. Using personality traits, especially flaws, is better.

      You’re only focusing on the parents? Sure, they have to go through these trials, but what does this Kalki do? Does he/she have supernatural powers? I think there’s a possibility the Kalki would have a more interesting story.

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