Penpusher
Posted: 2024-07-15T13:18:42+10:00 In:

A young man named Angel who is very skilled in combat and lives in a dangerous neighborhood decides to take matter into his own hands for the people he loves most with murder

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    2 Reviews

    1. Penpusher

      A young man named Angel is not very descriptive, and a character’s name should never be stated in the logline. Is he military? Homeless? Junkie? Police officer? Or a bank owner? Specify who he is; considering he is trained in combat, figure out a way to compile your first line into a couple of words of character description. The event is also missing: why does he decide to take matters into his own hands, and why is his neighbourhood dangerous? Why does he have to murder people for his loved ones?

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    2. Logliner

      When a courageous, but macho young man skilled in combat
      witnesses his hometown decline into a dangerous neighborhood by a self-Indulgent gangster
      he must find a just heart or risk harming those round him he is trying so hard to protect.

      theme: retribution leads to harming oneself
      protagonist’s want: to protect community
      protagonist’s need: inner peace

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