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Tony ByrdPenpusher
Posted: January 10, 20202020-01-10T01:55:40+10:00 2020-01-10T01:55:40+10:00In: Thriller

After his father’s death, a young man with autism discovers an experimental drug to help him cope with the murder of his classmate.

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    5 Reviews

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    1. Best Answer
      Tony Byrd Penpusher
      2020-01-11T02:02:30+10:00Added an answer on January 11, 2020 at 2:02 am
      1. He was 19 years old.
      2. He had lost his father.
      3. It helped him cope with his anxiety.

       

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    2. Best Answer
      Mike Pedley Singularity
      2020-01-11T02:00:56+10:00Added an answer on January 11, 2020 at 2:00 am

      Young man – how old?

      How is his life turned upside down?

      How does this drug help him cope?

      Film is a visual medium so think visually. What will we be seeing on screen?

      I think your previous logline was more interesting. The idea of a autistic kid investigating a high-school murder had legs. I would pursue that one.

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    3. Best Answer
      Tony Byrd Penpusher
      2020-01-10T22:09:23+10:00Added an answer on January 10, 2020 at 10:09 pm

      The drug doesn’t alter his brain.?

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    4. Best Answer
      Mike Pedley Singularity
      2020-01-10T19:41:18+10:00Added an answer on January 10, 2020 at 7:41 pm

      My issue with this is you’re suggesting the only way a young man with Aspergers is capable of having the mental faculties to investigate a crime is to take a drug to change his brain. In the world we live in today, I don’t think this is the sort of message that is wanted or needed. Instead, can I suggest that BECAUSE of his Aspergers he’s the ONLY ONE capable of perceiving things in a certain way that allows him to see the murder in a different way. That’s actually the hook.

      Re: protagonist – can you be more specific rather than young man. Young man could be anything from say 16 to 30? you mentioned classmates so we can assume he’s in school – but there’s a big difference between say 16 and say 21. My recommendation is to tell us how old he is. It’s important we understand that as it’s fundamental to understanding the society around this kid.

      His goal isn’t to simply investigate – it’s to solve the murder.

      What’s the inciting incident? It obviously relates to the murder but as this is about his Aspergers, I think it needs to be something that he alone sees that leads him to investigate.

      Genre-wise – I don’t see this as a thriller. I see it as a mystery verging on noir. Thriller MUST have a ticking clock in the logline in my opinion.

      I like the idea of a kid with Aspergers investigating a murder though. Have you read the book “The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time”? I’d recommend it if not.

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    5. Best Answer
      Tony Byrd Penpusher
      2020-01-10T14:54:03+10:00Added an answer on January 10, 2020 at 2:54 pm

      It’s like Limitless meets Brick meets Donnie Darko meets Identity.

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