A young orphaned girl from a Forest tribe is magically transported to a medieval futuristic realm populated with talking Animals and Mythological creatures. She must confront her long lost father, the Vicious king in order to restore peace in the realm and bring him back home.
Alan SmitheePenpusher
A young orphaned girl from a Forest tribe is magically transported to a medieval futuristic realm populated with talking Animals and Mythological creatures. She must confront her long lost father, the Vicious king in order to restore peace in the realm and bring him back home.
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An ideal Logline raises only one question to the reader: will the protagonist reach his goal?
All the other questions exhibit a lack of clarity, which include:
1. Confronting her long lost father (whatever it means)
How will that restore peace in the realm?
2. Why MUST she bring him back, given that he’s a vicious king?
Shouldn’t the goal be to keep him away from the tribe?
3. How is she orphaned when she has a long lost father?
If you meant that she considered him dead, it needs to be spelled out differently
4. The “magically transported..” bit… How?
Suggest some causality of what might’ve been
An ideal Goal is a direct result of the inciting incident
which in this case should be to find a way back to her tribe
OR change the inciting incident to suit the goal you mentioned
PS. Way things are, a futuristic universe won’t have many animals, let alone talking ones..
“…a medieval futuristic realm?” 🙂
This is tough with so many concepts and agree with comments above. Here?s my best stab –
Through a bit of magic, a girl journeys to a futuristic realm where she learns her father is its vicious king. She must kidnap the king to save the realm.