Project Butterfly
IvyEight6Penpusher
A young woman’s life turn upside down when she joins a secret agency to fend off her bullies.
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It doesn’t look like there is an event that causes her to take this path. Loglines need three elements an Event (Inciting Incident), a character that that event happens to, and the the action the character takes as a result of the event. At the moment you only have a character and an action. The bullies may have been bullying her for years. What happened to her that has forced her to join the secret Agency? What was it that turned her life upside down?
1) She was arrested for possessing weed.
2) She lost her sister from cancer.
I’m still not seeing a clear connection between all your elements. What is the inciting incident for your story? Why would a secret agency arrest a random girl for weed? Why would they let a random girl join said secret organisation? And what does that have to do with her being bullied? I’m struggling to think of a way to put all of these elements into a cohesive logline which IMHO means something is missing
The event could be that she begins being bullied and that’s what pushes her to a secret agency. But I’m not so sure how you’ll be able to connect those two things. If it’s a secret agency how does she know about it. And why would bullies cause her to somehow find the agency?