After 15years of running and keeping it a secret, a woman is forced to face her abuser when the love of her life leaves her. Will she be able to, to save her relationship?
IzLogliner
After 15years of running and keeping it a secret, a woman is forced to face her abuser when the love of her life leaves her. Will she be able to, to save her relationship?
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I don’t know anything about what you are writing, so this is just an attempt at a re-write of your logline. Apologies if it is horrible.
After 15 years on the run, a woman must come out of hiding and face up to her abuser in order to save her relationship with the love of her life and become whole again.
I?d like to see what happens next. This is only ever a first step. She builds up the courage and strength to confront the past, which starts the flow of emotions and so on as part of the healing. What help will she elicit? What therapy? Does she have a task where that turmoil becomes a hindrance?
As it stands the story sounds heartbreaking as well. Her promising relationship is probably lost ( makes me doubt the boyfriend’s sincerity to be honest), I?m assuming because she?s too haunted to have one, and at the end of the movie, she expresses her feelings, which is therapeutic, but to a person to whom she?s clearly just an object. What is achieved other than a first step? An important step, but there?s a lot of journey. The injury will persist, no other progress has been made, the perpetrator runs free. If that’s the end of the story, I’d be rather depressed. She’s come this far, and now what? Unless you wish to elicit that kind of response, by stopping the story at that point.
Now, as an opening scene, a shot of just her speaking up, then a reveal she?s in a therapist office talking to?her father in her imagination?(which would indeed be helpful) that?could be really interesting.
And then a journey of healing with a twist. Maybe. Is the trying to set a rockclimbing record while haunted by flashbacks? Is she immersing herself in Tibetan Buddhist culture in actual Tibet? Does her boyfriend turn out to be a jerk too? Does she need to save somebody else? And that?s why she speaks up?
I think the rest of the audience would also enjoy a full character healing story, especially, if you get a consultant for the long therapy journey in. You may be covering different years. The question remains: What would set your story apart? It would be so interesting if she ended up with an Olympic gold medal or so, having chosen triathlon to aid her recovery. Even more satisfying if the perpetrator was locked away. Or the court cases as an additional storyline.
I mean, I think you?ve potentially got something here, but you?ve only written the intro so far.
How about this?
To save her relationship, an adult woman is forced to confront the person who sexually abused her when she was younger.
The problem I see with this version is that it buries the story hook — the aspect of the story that is most likely to grab attention, create interest in reading the script.? ?Per your previous version “her abuser”? is her father, and the abuse is sexual.?
The story hook concerns an adult woman? forced to come to a reckoning with her father over his sexual abuse of her when she was young.
(Also, a logline raises a question implicitly; it never states it explicitly.? It does so by framing the plot in terms of her objective goal,? In this case, her objective goal is to save her relationship, reconcile with the one she loves.? Which implicitly raises the obvious question:? will she achieve her objective goal?? Will she be able to save her relationship?? Because that question is obvious, it need not be stated explicitly.)
fwiw