The Frankenstein Candidate: In an election where the campaigns are just a show to get re-elected, an independent candidate begins to speak truth to power. An established, dyed-in-the-wool politician, a mother of two, a “package made in campaign heaven”, also joins the fray, only to discover that she is a pawn in a malicious chess game.
After a beautiful, pure-hearted Senator is invited to join a presidential campaign, she discovers the dark side of public service and viciously turns the election upside-down
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Good idea for a fish out of water/political thriller but needs more direction.
Hard to tell whether the II is the invitation to join the presidential campaign or the discovery of the dark side of public service.
Further more who or what specifically represents the “dark side” of public service and how?
I think you need this clarified as the “dark side” of public service has been relentlessly written about in its many incarnations since Gogol.
The reader needs to know what specifically makes this “dark” and therefore, why she is motivated to stop it, in order to want go on the journey with her. Give her a bad guy to struggle against and at the same time make this an original take on a well-known concept.
Also a good idea to name the MC of your story and reduce the multitude of adjectives describing her to the most accurate and potent one that relates to the story the most.
Hope this helps, Nir.
Pure-heartedness vs ruthless corruption. An intriguing political drama with a strong inner journey as the main character gradually devolves from innocent to vicious. Can she redeem herself? Reminds me of Mean Girls!
My recommendation is to make her goal clearer. Is she trying to win the election? For herself, or for someone else?
How about something like this:
“When a pure-hearted senator is beguiled into joining an amoral presidential election, she must :: DO SOMETHING :: to win, in order to :: STAKES ::”
The system wont let me choose a preferred comment, but I like both of these, so thank you, patrokable and Nir Shelter.
When beautiful and conscientous Sen Olivia Allen joins a presidential campaign and discovers a show that hides powerlust and disdain for the people, she must decide whether to end the show at the cost of ending her career or to become part of it.