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gilligajLogliner
?After a botched clinical trial, an out of work sketch artist with synesthesia begins to see through time, which leads to a turbulent partnership with an alcoholic Private Investigator to help solve existing crimes and prevent new ones.? A 1 Hour Drama ? Title ?Savant? or ?Seer? , TBD.
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I really like this idea. The logline needs some work.
At 51 words, it’s too long. Even for a TV series.
I think you can strip out “with a rare form of the sensorial condition Synesthesia”. Instead, you could put syntesthete (which is the technical term) but my concern is that people might not know what synesthesia is. My suggestion is just to go with “destitute 34-year-old with synesthesia”. We don’t need to know he has a rare form really, and if you don’t know what it is then saying that it’s a sensorial condition won’t help. If you do know, then you’ll know that’s what it is.
Why just see, hear, and feel? Throw taste and smell into the mix.
If he’s anonymously saving people, how will this turn his life around. Consider Bruce Almighty. He makes things happen in order to report on them and become “Mr. Exclusive” – he does it for selfish means in order to get the fame he desires. If your guy were say a journalist? Or a cameraman? Photographer? A cop? We could understand why this could make him loads of money and get him out of destitution. But as it is, I’m unsure how if he’s anonymously doing things. We know he’s poor, so there’s gotta be financial rewards for whatever he does (otherwise why tell us he’s destitute) anonymity is not an option. The good thing about him getting rewarded for this stuff is the question about morality it poses.
“5 second glimpses of disastrous near-future events that will occur at his present physical location” ?- I reckon there’s a way to trim this.
When a botched clinical trial leaves him having sensory precognition of disastrous events, a struggling journalist must figure out a way to use these abilities to save lives and ?revive his career. (32 words)
I would watch this show!
A superhero needs a super villain… that’s the S1 finale. He’s not the only one.
Title-wise – I’m not sure this works. A savant is someone with a developmental disorder who displays brilliance in a limited field. To me, that doesn’t describe this guy. My suggestion – “Precognitive” or “Pre-Sense” / “Presense”. I like Presense cos it’s kinda like presence. Double(ish) meaning is always good.
Hope this helps.
I think a protagonist with synesthesia is a great premise. It has so many visual possibilities.? However, I’m kind of puzzled by the set up.
First of all I’m guessing that the purpose of the clinical trial is to treat the synesthesia.? Why?? What motivates it? Synesthesia is a benign condition.? Artists who have had the condition, like Kandinsky and Hockney, may have actually benefited from it.? And I am not aware of any literature? about non-artists suffering psychological torment or their work being hobbled.? What is the logical reason why anyone would try to “cure” him?? Or he would desperately want a cure by subjecting himself to a clinical trial?
To repeat, synesthesia is a great premise for a character attribute. But instead of focusing on and building on that condition, the current logline slaps on a piece of movie magic:? as a result of the botched trial, he acquires short term clairvoyance.? I suggest focusing on and building on the synesthesia.? Specifically, make the synesthesia itself clairvoyant — but he hasn’t realized it.? So the inciting incident might be when it starts to dawn on him that what for years he believed to be outbreaks of random “color coding” in his environment (words or numbers) are actually clairvoyant signals.? He has to decipher those signals case by case.
I suggest this would be a great coming of age story.? The eruptions of clairvoyant “color coding” could begin in adolescence or early adulthood.? IMHO, this strengthens the marketability of the concept because the series now targets the most coveted viewing demographic.
Finally, why not make the protagonist a woman?
fwiw
I think the “botched clinical trial” works very well for a destitute man, just trying to earn the $15 or whatever for participating so he can eat.? I agree with not excluding taste and smell.? Maybe mention “his five senses” instead of listing them.? I guess maybe the only thing that’s missing from this logline is… where is the conflict/danger?? Sounds like something good happens out of bad, and we just watch him do great things with it.? I honestly don’t know if it would help because you probably have enough of a hook, but I think it’s worth considering what you might tweak if you wanted to add that.