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dpgSingularity
Posted: October 4, 20162016-10-04T07:07:37+10:00 2016-10-04T07:07:37+10:00In: Examples

After a defenseless, young Arab prisoner is compelled to kill an informer for a Corsican mafia leader, he must connive to become a mafia leader himself to survive in a brutal, corrupt French prison.

Un Proph?te (A Prophet)
(French, 2009)

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    1. dpg Singularity
      2016-10-05T14:16:14+10:00Added an answer on October 5, 2016 at 2:16 pm

      The sequence of events in the inciting incident is that Corsican mob leader first orders him to kill the Arab informant and then “to motivate” him threatens to have him killed if he doesn’t. ?Even so, the Arab rejects “the call” to misadventure, tries to get out of ?the hit job by every means within his limited power. ?And he can’t. ?The prison administration is corrupt, in league with the Corsicans, so they won’t help him by transferring him out or giving him protection. ?

      Yes, it’s important to ID him as an Arab because that’s a major and ongoing flashpoint and complication. ?There are 2 rival prison gangs, the Corsicans and Arabs, ?no love lost between them, and initially he is an outcast to the Arabs because he works for the Corsicans.

      How he becomes a gang leader is a long and convoluted process. ?Initially he only knows what he wants to become — not how to get there. ?He’s has to make it up as he goes along, improvise on a day by day basis.

      ?And, no, he doesn’t kill the Corsican mafia leader. ?Come to find out, he doesn’t have to in order to prevail.? The climax and denouement of his struggle is ?cleverly plotted. ?

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    2. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2016-10-05T11:42:09+10:00Added an answer on October 5, 2016 at 11:42 am

      I find “…compelled…” to be not as impactful as an inciting incident should be, perhaps; After his life is threatened by a Corsican Mafia boss a prisoner must…

      Are you trying to imply with the description “…Arab…” that he will face an added obstacle from bigotry as a result of his cultural heritage? Is that critical to the plot? Could the logline do without the Arab description?? One more word that can go…

      Lastly, what must he actually do to become the mafia leader himself? Will he kill the Corsican mafia boss? Will he bribe the prison guards? If it’s a series of actions he takes, what of those was the final one that made him become the big boss himself?

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    3. CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter
      2016-10-04T12:38:11+10:00Added an answer on October 4, 2016 at 12:38 pm

      Is defenceless the right word? Does a defenceless person have the means to kill? Just a thought.

      Perhaps

      To survive a corrupt French prison a young Arab must carry out a hit for a Corsica mafia boss triggering his own path to the top and survival.

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