Penpusher
Posted: 2018-04-07T11:20:19+10:00 In:

After a former white supremacist is nursed back to health by a rural African American family, from a deadly bear attack, he must choose between his heart or allegiance when his former gang threatens to kill his new found family.

After a former white supremacist is nursed back to health by a rural African American family, from a deadly bear attack, he must choose between his heart or allegiance when his former gang threatens to kill his new found family.
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    2 Reviews

    1. Uberwriter

      It made me think of this thread:

      https://loglines.org/logline/when-an-american-civil-war-lieutenant-develops-friendship-with-lakota-indians-he-has-to-stand-against-his-army-to-preserve-his-new-way-of-life-dance-with-wolves/

      HIS “CHOOSING between his heart or allegiance when his former gang threatens to kill his new found family” DOES NOT WORK AS A GOAL

      your plot still works superbly for me.

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    2. Singularity

      As? Karel pointed out in the online YouTube session, “must choose” is about one moment in a? story.? But the purpose of a logline is to describe a course of dramatic action constituting hundreds of moments extending the full span of a story.

      And we know he’s going to choose to save his saviors, right?? It’s no mystery what he will decide to do. So:

      After being saved from a mortal injury by a poor, rural African-American? family, a white supremacist must save them from his fellow racists who want to lynch them.
      (28 words)

      Implied in that is a? 180 degree character arc on the part of the racist, the subjective story line, what he needs to overcome.? But loglines focus on the objective goal, not the subjective need.

      fwiw

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