Penpusher
Posted: 2016-09-15T23:51:47+10:00 In:

After a giant cube appears in the sky, a group of school kids set out to uncover why everyone is in complete denial over a potential alien threat.

After a giant cube appears in the sky, a group of school kids set out to uncover why everyone is in complete denial over a potential alien threat.
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    2 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      As Nir Shelter said. ? It’s better to focus on one principal character as the ?protagonist, the driver of the plot. ?The other kids are along for the ride.

      The manifestation of a giant cube would be unusual, a cause for consternation, to be sure — but how does the protagonist know it’s a threat when no one else does (or seems to worry about a threat)? And what is the nature of the threat?

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    2. Singularity

      But what will they actually do? What will be their main action?
      Who is the main character?
      Why is the main character so suspicious of this cube? What happened that made the main character think the aliens are a threat?

      I think the logline lacks too much detail, and as a result raises too many questions.

      Check out the training tab on the top bar of this web sight for more information on logline construction.

      In short, you need:
      A significant event which motivates a flawed main character to take action in order to achieve a compelling goal.

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