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MalcolmDPenpusher
Posted: April 10, 20182018-04-10T10:56:46+10:00 2018-04-10T10:56:46+10:00In: Romance

After a handsome ?younger? man of 74 unexpectedly falls for her at their ?wheelchairs only? assisted living center, a bitter, 93-year-old divorcee must battle her own distrust of men, before accepting love and working to thwart the competition.

After a handsome ?younger? man of 74 unexpectedly falls for her at their ?wheelchairs only? assisted living center, a bitter, 93-year-old divorcee must battle her own distrust of men, before accepting love and working to thwart the competition.
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    4 Reviews

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    1. talltales08 Logliner
      2018-04-11T05:46:03+10:00Added an answer on April 11, 2018 at 5:46 am

      How about….

      50 years after getting cold feet and leaving her intended at the alter, a head strong, independent woman must deal with her emotions when he’s admitted to the same old folks home she currently lives in and starts playing the field.

      I could see Jane Fonda, Sally fields, Goldie Hawn, you get the idea, lining up to play this role.

      All the male leading mean of the age range would want a call. Jack Nicholson anyone?

      I also see this as a comedy with unlimited potential.

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    2. dpg Singularity
      2018-04-11T01:17:06+10:00Added an answer on April 11, 2018 at 1:17 am

      >>>you don?t have anything to say about their age…

      I don’t see a problem.? Instead I see a cornucopia spilling over with dramatic opportunities.

      For one thing, there will be no lack of elderly actors who would be interested in the roles.? ?Eager to participate because there are so few opportunities for them to play major characters.

      To be sure, the love that develops will be more mature, not intoxicating, not hyper-stimulated by the usual suspect hormones that the brains of teens and young adults are saturated with.? But what it lacks in intensity is more than compensated for by depth and breadth, and seasoned by wisdom.? (And I trust the writer discerns this.)

      Or as the poet William Butler Yeats put it:

      Through all the lying days of my youth
      I swayed my leaves and flowers in the sun;
      Now I wither into the truth.

      All the screenwriting gurus talk about the need for characters to arc to? a “lesson learned” to an “emotional truth”.? These two people have “withered” into wheel chairs.? And in the process they have matured/ripened to comprehend and express the ultimate truth about their lives, about all our lives.

      >>>They are more interested in seeking love from their family (particularly grand-kids) rather than seeking a new encounter

      But what if their kids have dumped them , warehoused them in rest homes until they die?? And rarely visit and get out after putting in their token time?

      And here’s another major obstacle/ complication to fold into the story:? when the heirs to the woman’s estate find out about the romance, they try to sabotage it because of the legal implications.? ?To wit,? they won’t get their full share of her estate.? Or any at all if there is no pre-nuptial agreement or if she writes him into her will and her kids and grandkids out.

      There’s enough conflict right there to fill out the entire 3rd act.

      This is a story well worth telling.? A script that that??must?to be written.

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    3. dpg Singularity
      2018-04-10T22:10:26+10:00Added an answer on April 10, 2018 at 10:10 pm

      I think this has the makings for a wonderful story.

      However:? the standard formula is to embody the objective goal and subjective problem in a singular protagonist.? ?But in this story it’s the man who has the objective goal? and? the woman who has the subjective problem.

      I have come to the conclusion that is okay when the spine of the plot is the working out of a relationship. In effect, relationship plots? such as this one have dual protagonists.? So why not divide up the objective goal and subjective problem between them?

      But I do think that in loglines for relationship plots, it is better to frame the story in terms of the character who embodies the objective goal.? For one thing, the character with the objective goal provides the inciting incident that sets the plot in motion.? Which is certainly the case here.? If he doesn’t take a fancy to her, nothing happens; there is no plot.? ?He is the proactive character — she is the reactive, resisting one.? So I think the love story should be framed in terms of the character who is proactive, who makes the 1st move.

      fwiw

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    4. variable Uberwriter
      2018-04-10T16:18:06+10:00Added an answer on April 10, 2018 at 4:18 pm

      How about

      After a man of 60 falls for her at their assisted living center, a bitter 65 year old divorcee must battle her distrust of men

      However interesting your idea maybe, 94 and 73 are ages when a person’s requirement changes. I’ll risk sounding rude but It’s more about diapers, medicines, urinary catheter and keeping them alive. That’s the bitter truth.

      If you had posted such details under “comedy” genre, audience would cut you some slack but to make it under romance would be unwise.

      Because when we talk about this, we don’t think of budding romance but about ensuring they change positions frequently to prevent skin breakdown and painful ulcers, which are susceptible to infection…

      I’ve been with my fair share of old people. They are more interested in seeking love from their family (particularly grand-kids) rather than seeking a new encounter. There’s-maybe-too much history in their heads to begin with.

      It’s bio-logically improbably too. Dopamine and Oxytocin levels decline (significantly) for them to think about “new romance”

      Truth is it gets hard for me to think about afterlife so I’m naturally confused and scared about death. I think, as one nears death, it’s “concept” must have similar effect on anyone’s mind. So that’s a part too. I had a chance to discuss it with a theist on his death bed. He had all this tubes inserted in him he could barely speak. But he told me he was still terrified of death and I quote “it’s all I can think about since I’ve been 75….what’s the use of r******n if it could not prepare me for deathbed” (naturally I got emotional)
      The point is, these are some of the topics floating in their head.

      That being said your premise “fighting one’s bitterness to face love in a living center”
      has legs.

      And your version is easy to read. It has character-event-goal which is good news
      Can you elaborate on “thwarting competition”, I dropped it from my attempt because I had no clue which competition it is, but an objective goal is always better (…so add that bit, in some way)

      good luck MalcolmD

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