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savinh0Samurai
Posted: January 22, 20162016-01-22T04:44:22+10:00 2016-01-22T04:44:22+10:00In: Drama

After a sensitive cocoa farmer from Ecuador is getting engaged with a rich entrepreneur girl, he must decide between the marriage to rescue his bankrupt family plantation or his true love who lives far away in Germany.

After a sensitive cocoa farmer from Ecuador is getting engaged with a rich entrepreneur girl, he must decide between the marriage to rescue his bankrupt family plantation or his true love who lives far away in Germany.
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    4 Reviews

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    1. Richiev Singularity
      2016-01-22T07:31:55+10:00Added an answer on January 22, 2016 at 7:31 am

      You shouldn’t tell us the decision he needs to make, because if the logline is written well, the inner conflict should be obvious. Here’s an attempt.
      —–

      “When his plantation goes into foreclosure, a sensitive cocoa farmer becomes engaged to a rich American who will save his farm, but complications arise when he receives a letter from a former fiance who was the love of his life.”
      —–
      One more note, the two people in love should get the most screen time together. They should have scenes where the audience sees their connections and chemistry is built. In your logline, the ‘true love’ is far way in Germany. You should have her come to town. The farmer and the ‘true love’ need to be on screen more than the farmer and the rich entrepreneur.
      —–
      “When his plantation goes into foreclosure, a sensitive cocoa farmer becomes engaged to a rich American who will save his farm, but complications arise when his former fiance and love of his life arrives in town wanting him back.”

      Hope that helped, good luck with this!

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    2. dpg Singularity
      2016-01-24T08:54:08+10:00Added an answer on January 24, 2016 at 8:54 am

      How did they meet?if she’s in?Germany and he’s in Ecuador?? On Tinder???While she was visiting Ecuador?

      For that matter?how did he, living in Ecuador, ?meet and get engaged?to an?American?

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    3. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2016-01-26T13:07:41+10:00Added an answer on January 26, 2016 at 1:07 pm

      The location specific details seem unrelated to the plot. You could write this story in the American mid west, China or Greece the plot still works. Poor farmer about to loose it all gets engaged to a rich woman to save his family business but falls in love with another woman before the wedding.

      I think the concept of “reader letter” is too obscure and possibly unclear, the details of how they met may not be important what is important is the love triangle your plot is centered on.

      The choice between marrying for money or marrying for love has been done many times both in comedy and drama, perhaps add in a description of the stakes at hand. However high and original the stakes are, will help make this concept distinct from many others.

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    4. variable Uberwriter
      2017-12-31T20:08:38+10:00Added an answer on December 31, 2017 at 8:08 pm

      If it is “true love” i would rather see him struggle bankruptcy

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