Samurai
Posted: 2018-04-22T13:52:29+10:00 In:

After accidentally reviving a teenage MUMMY, a young archaeologist must fight the freed DARK FORCES who want the MUMMY to turn evil and cause annihilation.

After accidentally reviving a teenage MUMMY, a young archaeologist must fight the freed DARK FORCES who want the MUMMY to turn evil and cause annihilation.
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    5 Reviews

    1. Samurai

      I think you’ve got the basics covered. I don’t know what the rules on capitalization are. Feels like something best avoided to me. But better wait for someone more experienced for that.

      Here’s a suggestion:

      After accidentally reviving a?benign?teenage mummy and?dark forces bent on annihilation by converting it,? an inexperienced?archaeologist?must protect his new friend.

      I suggested inexperience for young , because it could be a nice obstacle for him, if you like it. I also assumed most of the fighting is in protection of the mummy and threw in a relationship.

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    2. Uberwriter

      ciao!

      After reviving a teenage mummy, an amateur archaeologist must unearth her buried home before the dark curse influences his new friend

      I’ve been thinking about the stakes…but Jessie dropped in a crucial piece of information. They are friends now! Not right away, but after she’s done being pissed off with him (for disturbing her sleep) she reveals the dark prophecy (maybe midpoint reversal) and he helps her safe return.

      good luck nettle!!

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    3. Uberwriter

      I thought archaeologist was a male to maybe sustain the scope of a relation between them

      If 2017 Oscar Winning “the shape of water” can walk away with lovemaking between an underwater creature and a mute girl…. (!!!) It’s safe to say you can pull it off with an archaeologist and a young mummy

      >>>I don’t want to entertain too many emotions…
      .
      .
      Why not?

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    4. Singularity

      Seems to me the mummy is the more interesting character.? And a more natural, or should I say unnatural, candidate for the role of the protagonist.

      Because, the mummy has the subjective/ internal as well as objective/external struggle.? While the archaeologist only seems to have an objective/external struggle.? The mummy seems to “own” the? dramatic problem, the “dark forces” — not the archaeologist.

      What’s the archaeologist’s character’s arc?? What subjective issue must he overcome in order to prevail?

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    5. Samurai

      Just making this a separate post to make it searchable. Regarding a character being emotionally detached. Yes, there are real people like that. But:

      Even in pure action movies, in the best ones, the character cares. They don?t have to wear it on their sleeves, but they do. I?m not saying, make it a love story. This is were you differentiate between a great movie, maybe a masterpiece and an ok movie, which could maybe attract audience with fancy action sequences and/or?cgi, although, audiences are finally asking for more there, too. The protagonist needs to have an inner life. At least one meaningful relationship. They must feel and care. Maybe not show it much, but care they must.

      Because why? You want the audience to care, go on an emotional journey. You want them to feel something. I mean other that woah, that was a cool action scene. Unless you?re fine with a detached audience.

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