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Mike PedleySingularity
When he finds a cowardly family-man accidentally locked in their 9-way assassin?s battle royale to win a contract paying enough to retire with, a moral veteran must keep him alive whilst eliminating the competition.
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From this logline, I am not sure what makes your lead character a protagonist.
He stumbles into a deathmatch. That is, he didn’t do it pro-actively
His goal is just, to survive, again that isn’t really a pro-active goal
And the one thing he does is team up with a veteran hitman, (Someone who does have skill) which means he is relying on someone else to save him.
In other words, as your logline reads, things happen to the lead character but the lead character doesn’t seem to do anything other than try no to die, there doesn’t seem to be any plan of action or pro-active goal.
In other words, what makes your lead character a Pro-tagonist.
Pardon my ignorance of the pro assassin trope, but what is a “death match”?? Something pro assassins engage in between jobs to relieve boredom, keep their skill sets sharp, earn some pocket change?
I think that the denouement is a good twist –? but what you do conceive to be the story hook that grabs and holds and viewer’s attention until then?
“Battle Royale”? I get.
In both “Battle Royale” and “the Hunger Games” the players have no choice:? they MUST play or perish sooner rather than later.? It’s not clearly stated in this logline that? players cannot opt out. Which I presume is the case.? Or is it?
Who is the protagonist? Is the character to be most empathised with the Accountant or the Assassin?
Currently the Accountant character sounds a bit pathetic – not relatable.? ‘Stumbling’ into a deathmatch/Battle Royale without reading the signs lowers character intelligence.? Luke Skywalker may not have had the courage at the start to save the princess, but he seemed like a bright kid!
So, Accountant and Assassin become unlikely allies. Reminded me of the film Zombieland when I first read it.? Coward character [teams up with]? Tough guy.
Which leads to the question of Antagonist or oppositional force? Filling in the gaps, my guess is more Assassins, but not clearly stated …..
I’ve updated this logline based on the suggestions. Further comments welcomed.
Where is this battle to the death set?? On an island?? Or…?
Thumbs up – can see how suggestions helped.
Had the “Ah, I get it now” moment. So protagonist is the Assassin – much cooler! And cowardly/accountant/family-guy is the Victim and Boon (prize)… motivating primary character action during oppositional battle royale conflict.
Any psychological dimension to our assassin? No one’s perfect, we all have our faults. Maybe if he is a venten, then he has some unresolved past … Could help character be more likeable.