With his life crumbling all around him — looming divorce, estranged daughter, unsteady job, borderline alcoholic — his family’s blatant disregard for Mama’s post-mortem wishes is the final straw. He breaks into the mausoleum, steals the urn, and prepares for a hasty cross-country road trip to spread her ashes… but not before being blackmailed into taking his “slow” step-brother along for the ride, who teaches him the importance of family.
Castler MediaLogliner
After an estranged middle-aged son loses his mother to a fatal accident, he embarks on a mission to spread her ashes, with his “slow” step-brother in tow, against the family’s wishes.
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This is a movie I would want to see!
I did get a little confused about “estranged.” In the logline it sounds as if estranged from his mother. But the synopsis makes it sound like he is close to his mom–whose final wishes are threatened by dysfunctional family–although he is dysfunctional himself. Estranged from daughter? Can you make it more clear in logline what the nature of his relationship to his mother is?
Thanks!
You seem to have the right idea already. Prior to her passing, he basically cut ties with the whole family (including mama) because he thinks 1) step-dad catfished mama, 2) sister went along with it or was indifferent to it, 3) step-bro is “too stupid” to know any better, and 4) mama won’t listen to reason.
Would it help if I amend it to “beloved mother”? Nah, I’m not sure about that.
Also, he’s “estranged” from his daughter because his wife took her to live with her parents (his in-laws) when she left him. “Estranged,” in this case, seemed a bit strong for the synopsis, but I was trying to keep it tight. That’s my bad.
Maybe “angry” daughter?
About step brother…is a nit wit, not the sharpest tool in the shed… or we talking Rain Man? I get this can be a bit of a PC challenge… But some clarity here would be helpful.. Only nit picking cause I think it is really good as it stands…just tad polish needed—my opinion.
Daughter — she’s only 6. Anger with her father would manifest more as fear of him, if at all. She’s old enough to realize she no longer lives with daddy, young enough that nobody wants to explain it to her.
Step-brother — Not quite “Rain Man,” but more than just your average idiot. My co-writer and I still need to determine if this was a “born this way” scenario, or maybe the result of an accident.
“After his mother’s death, the family Blacksheep is tasked with the dying wish to spread her ashes despite pushback from the family and his mentally handicapable brother in tow.”
(Perhaps bring the family along in the car for conflict)
If this was a comedy, perhaps.
Story is conflict. What is the conflict of finding a place to spread the ashes? And if that conflict is the family, how can that conflict happen if they are away?
Yes, I want to see the family “Karen” hot on his heels and hellbent on stopping him 😉
At OP – A destination is key for reader orientation.
That’s the plan, Odie. 🙂
The conflict, Richiev, will be found in the active pursuit and entrapment by the family, in phone interactions with his his estranged wife, and in placating / connecting with the “slow” step-brother.