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dpgSingularity
Posted: May 2, 20162016-05-02T02:27:59+10:00 2016-05-02T02:27:59+10:00In: Examples

After an unemployed single dad loses his home, he struggles to get it back by working for the corrupt real estate broker who evicted him.

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    4 Reviews

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    1. Karel Segers Logliner
      2016-05-06T23:35:21+10:00Added an answer on May 6, 2016 at 11:35 pm

      I would rephrase it a bit.
      “When an unemployed single dad has his home foreclosed, he must work for the real estate broker who evicted him in order to gain back his house.”
      Something like that, “he struggles” sounds off to me.
      I liked the film, nothing more. It’s nice to see Florida on screen.

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    2. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2016-05-04T17:06:31+10:00Added an answer on May 4, 2016 at 5:06 pm

      I haven’t seen the film.
      Is there an element of revenge or payback that the main character is planing on when taking the job with the real estate broker?

      If there isn’t one then it seems as if the main character became the bad guy him self, is there a?redemption at least towards the end?

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    3. CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter
      2016-05-03T12:35:34+10:00Added an answer on May 3, 2016 at 12:35 pm

      I was left asking where is the tension. ?I can see heaps of opportunities, but what are you using?

      1) While working he discovers the corruption that meant he could have kept his home. ?So he going to bring down the RE.
      2) He is seduced by the money corruption brings and becomes as bad as the RE, only to have an awakening later.
      3) He works to bring the corruption to out in the open to get revenge.
      4) He somehow uses the corruption as leverage to get his house back – a there and back again story.

      I wouldn’t worry if the RE knows the person or not. ?It may even be good to have the RE acknowledge that he knows. ?Even more of a power trip “I took your home and now you work for me” vibe.

      I can see so many avenue, which one you heading down?

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    4. Erica Samurai
      2016-05-02T03:00:39+10:00Added an answer on May 2, 2016 at 3:00 am

      I like the irony in the story.? Just feels like it’s missing something, but that could just be me.? I do like it.

      Of course my first question is does the broker who evicted him know who he is when he hires him?? That is something that wouldn’t be answered in the log line but in reading/watching the story, so I think the logline is doing it’s job.

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