Samurai
Posted: 2018-10-23T01:23:23+10:00 In:

After being sent to the future during a battle, the two warriors fight to finish what they started.

After being sent to the future during a battle, the two warriors fight to finish what they started.
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    3 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      Fighting over what?? ?For what –what are the stakes?? Why should we care who wins?

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    2. Logliner

      Where and when is the battle? Is it in ancient China, the middle ages Europe, first world war? Is it in our present somewhere in the Middle East? When and where do they go? How they arrive there? Why do they decide to continue their fight after being “carried” to the future? Do they discover the aftermath of the war they were fighting in the past?

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    3. Singularity

      I agree with the others, your story has no anchor.

      1: We don’t know the timeframe the warriors are fighting at the beginning of the story and so we don’t know what the future is to them.
      2: We don’t know what the warriors are fighting for, so there are no stakes.
      3: Because you said, two warriors, instead of making one the lead character and the other the antagonist. We don’t know who the lead character is.

      However

      The good news is: This is an easy fix.

      For instance, if this takes place during the crusades and one character is a Christian Templar and another being a Muslim Warrior. Now we know the who and the when.
      If you tell us they are fighting over a sacred relic, tell us what that relic is. Now we know why they are fighting.
      Now they are in the future, which is our timeline, the relic is in the Vatican, The Muslim warrior wants to steal it, and the Templar vows to stop him. Now we know what they are fighting for.

      Your idea is different of course but the principle will be the same.

      1: Tell us specifically who they are, because simply saying two warriors is vague
      2: Tell us specifically what they are fighting for. A county? And object? A religion?
      3: Tell us the stakes, what bad thing will happen if the bad guy wins.
      4: Tell us what future they arrive in. Modern times, The near future? 2050? The year 3,000?

      So an easy fix, good luck with this.

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