Penpusher
Posted: 2016-09-13T21:35:09+10:00 In:

After escaping from their previous lives, ten unrelated tenants seek refuge in a shared household to rebuild themselves for the better, only to be hindered by the oncoming cruelties that await them.

After escaping from their previous lives, ten unrelated tenants seek refuge in a shared household to rebuild themselves for the better, only to be hindered by the oncoming cruelties that await them.
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    2 Reviews

    1. Best Answer
      Singularity

      What DPG wrote.

      I’ll only add that a good story needs a powerfully motivated character. This is best achieved?in the cause and effect relationship between the inciting incident and the goal, however in this instance the logline doesn’t describe a single specific and significant event as the inciting incident.

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    2. Best Answer
      Singularity

      For the purposes of a logline, ten characters — unrelated at that — are too many, even for an ensemble cast. ?A logline is almost always focused on one protagonist. Who is the dominant, alpha-character, the 1st among “equals”? ?Select her or him and build the plot around that character.

      And whoever becomes the protagonist needs to be provided with a specific objective goal. ? How does “rebuild for the better” translate into a specific objective goal? And “hindered by oncoming cruelties” needs to be made more specific in terms of a particular, singular antagonist who must be defeated or a specific obstacle that must be overcome.

      Consult the guidelines under “Training” at the top of the web page for the fundamentals of writing an industry standard logline.

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