After failing to deliver a kidnapped KGB defector to their Soviet handlers, a married couple of Russian sleeper agents must find a way to keep their captive secret from their Americanised kids, the suspicious FBI agent next door, and the American government that wants their asset back.

The logline is an adequate logline for the pilot episode for the TV series “The Americans”. Although at 47 words it is rather long. It would be better were the logline no longer than 40 words, best if could come in at 25 words or less. A guiding rule in writing a logline is that “less is more” (Ludwig Mies van der Rohe). Brevity is the soul of salesmanship when it comes to loglining.

And in this case, the purpose of the logline is to sell the premise for a TV series, specifically a premise that has endurance; that is, one that promises to deliver interesting characters and situations episode after episode, season after season. Which brings up another issue with this logline. It describes a dramatic situation that is a one-off. By the end of the pilot episode the primary plot problem, what to do about the kidnapped person, is resolved: he is killed. The TV series moves on to other plot problems in succeeding episodes.

Compare this logline with one for the pilot episode for the widely acclaimed, wildly popular “Breaking Bad” series: “When a milquetoast chemistry teacher is diagnosed with terminal cancer, he starts cooking crystal meth to provide for his family after his death.” The inciting incident launches the premise for the TV series, but the pilot episode does not resolve the dramatic situation set up by the inciting incident. What the logline for “Breaking Bad” is selling is a premise that has legs, long distance legs, a premise strong enough to run for 62 episodes over 5 seasons.

There is another critical difference between the inciting incidents in the pilot for “Breaking Back” and the inciting incident for the pilot of “The Americans”. The inciting incident in the “Breaking Bad” pilot triggers a radical 180-degree change in the trajectory of Walter White’s life.

And the inciting incident in the pilot for “The Americans” triggers…? Well, not so much. The Soviet spies are already covertly operating in the US. The inciting episode creates a problem that needs to be solved so they can keep on doing what they have been already doing and will continue to do. The inciting incident is a bump in the road, not a crossroads that will take them down a radically different path in their lives.

So, what might be a logline to pitch the TV show? I suggest one that focuses on the story hook, which not only defines the show but also promises long distance legs. Maybe something like: “At the height of the Cold War, two Russian agents spy on the U.S. government while posing as a typical American couple with kids.” (24 words)

fwiw