After falling in debt to a crime family, a cocky mechanic is forced to strip stolen cars for an auto-garage, but when his love interest is killed in a hit-and-run caused by the family’s erratic nephew, he turns the family against itself to seek vengeance and escape the debt.
Karel SegersLogliner
After falling in debt to a crime family, a cocky mechanic is forced to strip stolen cars for an auto-garage, but when his love interest is killed in a hit-and-run caused by the family’s erratic nephew, he turns the family against itself to seek vengeance and escape the debt.
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The most interesting part of this logline is the protagonist’s plan to seek vengeance by turning the family against itself. I absolutely love that. Because of this, get rid of the debt subplot – it’s unnecessary and not as interesting.
Great start. I like revenge stories and especially when there’s something fresh about them.
>>a cocky mechanic
What’s the intent behind cocky? A guy taking revenge indirectly doesn’t sound cocky and he doesn’t feel so ironic in that predicament. With the predicament he’s in and the indirect plan, a significant flaw doesn’t even feel necessary. Was it considered to go with a trait or talent that would shed light on how he would turn the family against itself? In other words, to differentiate this more from the first Punisher movie.
>>After falling in debt to a crime family,
>>is forced to strip stolen cars for an auto-garage,
These can be combined and shortened since the real hook starts when the love interest is killed.
>>to seek vengeance and escape the debt.
Escaping the debt is understood with the vengeance.
Does it pay specifying the main antag?
My two cents.