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evanh965Penpusher
Posted: April 18, 20162016-04-18T04:42:53+10:00 2016-04-18T04:42:53+10:00In: Drama

After finding a student showing signs of self-harm, Thomas, an intrapersonal anxious janitor must risk his job in pursuit of helping the young teen learn the beauty of life through his secret rooftop garden.

After finding a student showing signs of self-harm, Thomas, an intrapersonal anxious janitor must risk his job in pursuit of helping the young teen learn the beauty of life through his secret rooftop garden.
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    3 Reviews

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    1. Stauber Logliner
      2016-04-18T11:08:08+10:00Added an answer on April 18, 2016 at 11:08 am

      Why must he risk his job? Is his solution to help the student incompatible with the expectations of his job?

      I feel both intrapersonal and anxious could be more effectively conveyed with a singular word such as ‘reserved’. Intrapersonal anxious just seems overly prescriptive.

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    2. dpg Singularity
      2016-04-18T13:08:26+10:00Added an answer on April 18, 2016 at 1:08 pm

      “Intrapersonal anxious” is psycho-babble. ?Say it in plain English.

      What are the signs of “self-harm”? Suicidal urges? ?Drug abuse? ?Cutting? Be specific.

      And is the teen is male or female? ?Again be specific — how else are they going to know how to cast it?

      And isn’t the janitor’s goal to save his life? ?Isn’t ?”learn the beauty of life” ?just a means to that end, that objective goal?

      And I don’t understand why his job as a janitor would be at ?risk for the simple human decency of reaching out to help a teen.

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    3. FFF Mentor
      2016-04-19T19:16:43+10:00Added an answer on April 19, 2016 at 7:16 pm

      Hello, I agree with the previous comments: be specific, make a crative decision about the self-harm, clarify why the janitor’s?job is at risk. I like the idea of a movie about roof gardening as a healing process.

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