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pzeidman
Posted: September 13, 20142014-09-13T09:03:53+10:00 2014-09-13T09:03:53+10:00In: Public

After literally dying onstage, a caustic comedian's only shot at getting into Heaven is to fix three lives ruined because of him.

An Angel Walks Into a Bar…

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    8 Reviews

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    1. 2014-09-13T21:54:13+10:00Added an answer on September 13, 2014 at 9:54 pm

      Pithy and to the point. When paired with the title – a home run.

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    2. 2014-09-13T21:54:13+10:00Added an answer on September 13, 2014 at 9:54 pm

      Pithy and to the point. When paired with the title – a home run.

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    3. dpg Singularity
      2014-09-13T22:36:22+10:00Added an answer on September 13, 2014 at 10:36 pm

      It might benefit from a ticking clock.

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    4. dpg Singularity
      2014-09-13T22:36:22+10:00Added an answer on September 13, 2014 at 10:36 pm

      It might benefit from a ticking clock.

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    5. pzeidman
      2014-09-14T01:11:46+10:00Added an answer on September 14, 2014 at 1:11 am

      I considered that, but think it still works without it. Will still give it a try, though.

      Thanks!

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    6. pzeidman
      2014-09-14T01:11:46+10:00Added an answer on September 14, 2014 at 1:11 am

      I considered that, but think it still works without it. Will still give it a try, though.

      Thanks!

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    7. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2014-09-15T13:24:28+10:00Added an answer on September 15, 2014 at 1:24 pm

      Sharp and to the point well written logline indeed but it feels a bit too academic by that I mean it lacks the emotional motivation that the ghost genre normally has. For example the love for his partner in ‘Ghost’ or the love interest in ‘Just Like Heaven’.

      The emotional motivation often helps create and sustain the internal journey for the MC to learn how to become better individuals dead or alive.

      I assume this is a comedy and as such gives the freedom to stretch the plausibility aspect. Perhaps then add in an ally or love interest to help the MC change and go on an internal journey as they achieve their external goal.

      Hope this helps Nir.

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    8. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2014-09-15T13:24:28+10:00Added an answer on September 15, 2014 at 1:24 pm

      Sharp and to the point well written logline indeed but it feels a bit too academic by that I mean it lacks the emotional motivation that the ghost genre normally has. For example the love for his partner in ‘Ghost’ or the love interest in ‘Just Like Heaven’.

      The emotional motivation often helps create and sustain the internal journey for the MC to learn how to become better individuals dead or alive.

      I assume this is a comedy and as such gives the freedom to stretch the plausibility aspect. Perhaps then add in an ally or love interest to help the MC change and go on an internal journey as they achieve their external goal.

      Hope this helps Nir.

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