After making his “brain-power-boosting” mixture,a wannabe chemist drinks it,shrinking instead into a little man,who decides to read people?s diaries but reads one which lands him into serious trouble.
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After making his “brain-power-boosting” mixture,a wannabe chemist drinks it,shrinking instead into a little man,who decides to read people?s diaries but reads one which lands him into serious trouble.
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This is not a logline yet but just one long?inciting incident. I would say the inciting incident is that he makes the mixture and his goal is to be smarter — but why? And the obstacle is that instead it shrinks him. Consult the training tab at the top of the page to learn how to structure a logline. Thanks.
Thanks Moses99 for your review.
As Moses99 said.
There’s no compelling causal motivation between the incident incident and his decision to snoop in people’s diaries. ?If he didn’t shrink couldn’t he still decide to snoop in diaries?
It seems to be the case of a situation in search of a ?plot ?with an objective goal, an adversary and/or obstacle, and stakes.
(And are these ‘diaries’ digital or old-fashioned paper & ink?)
You don’t need the part about the brain-power-boosting’ just begin with the shrinking…
Second, I don’t understand the part about the diaries. You don’t have to be small to read another persons diary, also if he is so small he won’t be noticed, how does he open the diary, wouldn’t the diary be too big for him?
I appreciate your reviews,bros.Thanks so much.
dpg
The diaries are the old book ones.
I get your points.There must be a correlation.
I ?will work on that.
@ Richies
He shrinks to an action figure size and sneaks in
to read.
I appreciate your reviews,bros.Thanks so much.
dpg
The diaries are the old book ones.
I get your points.There must be a correlation.
I ?will work on that.
@ Richies
He shrinks to an action figure size and sneaks in
to read.