After she is possessed by two unresting young souls to avenge their deaths by an
un- remorseful negligent nurse, a little girl must find the exorcist who can deliver her
before she kills her negligent parents.
hihello8484Logliner
After she is possessed by two unresting young souls to avenge their deaths by an un- remorseful negligent nurse, a little girl must find the exorcist who can deliver her before she kills her negligent parents.
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It occurs to me that if she’s possessed, how does she have the free will to ?search for an exorcist? ?I would think the avenging souls might have a 2nd opinion on allowing that to happen.
Isn’t that’s the whole point of demonic possession? ?So what’s to stop them from stopping her from finding an exorcist?
In the official “guide book” on exorcisms — the Bible — the victims of possession lack the free will to beg Christ to cast out the demons that possess them. ?Others have to intercede on?their behalf.
There are, after all, certain conventions to dramatizing demonic possession.
Just saying.
Possessed by the spirits of two vengeful child a girl must find an exeorist to free her before they drive her to kill her own parents.
All the other stuff adds to confusion.
Agree with Dkpough1 that the logline lacks logical coherency. ?Why are her parents in jeopardy when the target of the souls’ vengeful wrath is the nurse?
“After she is possessed by two unresting young souls to avenge their deaths by an un- remorseful negligent nurse, a little girl must find the exorcist who can deliver her before she kills her negligent parents.”
The logline is worded awkwardly, and the last part is confusing. The beginning sets up an interesting situation and then it gets muddled. It makes sense that the vengeful spirits would direct her to kill their murderer, but how does she end up almost killing her own parents? Also, rather than describe the girl as young, describe her personality, or some type of skill which she will use in the story.
Example:?After she is possessed by two vengeful spirits in order to exact revenge on their remorseless?nurse, ?a devout girl must find an exorcist who can remove the spirits before she murders the nurse.? (34)
My example could be better but I’ve included the suggestions I gave to you, by keeping the goal focused on what arises from the inciting incident, and I described her devout because it instantly brings to mind that she would be uncomfortable with this spirits due to her religion.
I hope this helps.