Edited to include more story beats and overall premise.
joseph_evans50Logliner
After stealing money from what he believes is a small time gang, a former criminal (never caught) finds himself and his girlfriend being pursued by the men he stole from. With nowhere left to go, our protagonist is forced into working with the police to help track down what turns out to be a deadly criminal organization.
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Why is he stealing money from a gang? What makes him better than the people he’s stealing from and therefore makes us root for him?
“A man” – that’s all you have to say about the hero of your story!? This is the character on whom the weight of the entire plot rests; he has the burden of being the emotional core of the story, and the being who you are expecting an audience to follow to hell and back and will to succeed at every turn… and he’s just “a man”. Your hero deserves better!
What will happen if he’s caught? Why do we care?
I very much appreciate the feedback, I’ve edited my logline to include more of the story.
Examples:
“A [debonair/proficient/career] criminal-turned-informant must [infiltrate/stop] a deadly criminal organization when stealing drug money from a supposed small-time gang”
OR
“On the run when stealing drug money …”
We’ve all seen these informant tropes, find a unique angle for your premise to add color to the logline.
Keep going!