Sign Up Sign Up

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sign In Sign In

Forgot Password?

If you'd like access, Sign Up Here

Forgot Password Forgot Password

Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sorry, you do not have permission to ask a question, You must login to ask a question.

Forgot Password?

To see everything, Sign Up Here

Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.

Logline It! Logo Logline It! Logo
Sign InSign Up

Logline It!

Logline It! Navigation

  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
Search
Post Your Logline

Mobile menu

Close
Post Your Logline
  • Signup
  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
Betty GarciaLogliner
Posted: February 18, 20162016-02-18T08:05:27+10:00 2016-02-18T08:05:27+10:00In: SciFi

After surviving a brutal attack, Rio Madrid, a young Latina living in a small, Texas border town, discovers she is a direct descendant of Aztec gods and becomes the target of supernatural enemies who have been hunting down her bloodline, one by one, throughout time.

After surviving a brutal attack, Rio Madrid, a young Latina living in a small, Texas border town, discovers she is a direct descendant of Aztec gods and becomes the target of supernatural enemies who have been hunting down her bloodline, one by one, throughout time.
  • 0
  • 2 2 Reviews
  • 1,200 Views
  • 0 Followers
  • 0
Share
  • Facebook

    Post a review
    Cancel reply

    You must login to add an answer.

    Forgot Password?

    To see everything, Sign Up Here

    2 Reviews

    • Voted
    • Oldest
    • Recent
    1. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2016-02-18T10:15:14+10:00Added an answer on February 18, 2016 at 10:15 am

      No need to mention the main character’s name, unless the concept is a biopic or historical document.

      The inciting incident is mentioned only about half way through the logline “…becomes the target of supernatural enemies…” best to bring it in earlier. This will free up some word space and allow for a better antagonist description, the antagonists sound too vague for the threat to come across. There have been many stories about heroes fighting supernatural enemies, what is it about these enemies that will make this story stand apart? Also the type of supernatural will define the genre, are these ghosts, demonic monsters, evil super humans or zombies?

      Secondly the main character is described as a rather passive character, she becomes the target but what does she do then? Obviously she will fight, so best to word the logline in a way that will aid the reader understand the action nature of the story. Most importantly the logline lacks a goal, define the objective need of the main character without this the plot is vague.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    2. dpg Singularity
      2016-02-19T04:05:33+10:00Added an answer on February 19, 2016 at 4:05 am

      As Nir Shelter said, she seems more acted upon than acting.

      As a result of discovering her true? genealogy, what becomes her objective goal?? What must she do to fight back, to harness the potent but latent powers I presume? she has? (Otherwise why would she be the target for extermination?)

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp

    Sidebar

    Stats

    • Loglines 7,997
    • Reviews 32,189
    • Best Reviews 629
    • Users 3,712

    screenwriting courses

    Adv 120x600

    aalan

    Explore

    • Signup

    Footer

    © 2022 Karel Segers. All Rights Reserved
    With Love from Immersion Screenwriting.