Movie
After the death of his wife, A confident salesman is sent to prison for assault and his children put in care, upon his release he enlist the help of his brother lawyer to regain custody but is he stable and will the children have bonded with the foster parents.
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After serving ten years for manslaughter, a father struggles to regain custody and win the affection of his children who have bonded with their adoptive parents.
“Manslaughter” — more serious than mere “assault”.
“Ten years” — A sufficient length of time to guarantee his kids remember little about him, have had ample time to bond with their foster parents.
“Win the affection” — rather than “win back”, assuming they were too young to have bonded with him when they went into foster care. Or their mother may have divorced him, had custody before she died. So again, he didn’t have a chance to bond with them. Whatever, it seems to me he would have a harder task to bond with them in the first place.
“Adoptive”– Could have started out as foster parents. But now the bond is not just emotional but legal. An additional hurdle he must overcome.
fwiw
After serving ten years for manslaughter, a father struggles to regain custody and win the affection of his children who have bonded with their adoptive parents.
“Manslaughter” — more serious than mere “assault”.
“Ten years” — A sufficient length of time to guarantee his kids remember little about him, have had ample time to bond with their foster parents.
“Win the affection” — rather than “win back”, assuming they were too young to have bonded with him when they went into foster care. Or their mother may have divorced him, had custody before she died. So again, he didn’t have a chance to bond with them. Whatever, it seems to me he would have a harder task to bond with them in the first place.
“Adoptive”– Could have started out as foster parents. But now the bond is not just emotional but legal. An additional hurdle he must overcome.
fwiw
I would add for audience empathy sake: “After wrongly accused of manslaughter and serving ten years…”
This makes him an underdog fighting his way up rather than a man in search of redemption.
Hope this helps.
I would add for audience empathy sake: “After wrongly accused of manslaughter and serving ten years…”
This makes him an underdog fighting his way up rather than a man in search of redemption.
Hope this helps.
Is the death of his wife part of the story or is it just to indicate that her is a single parent? You can’t fit in all the motivations, just the big ones. Is it important that he is confident to help the logline? I think you can drop it. Plus don’t ask a question, that is for marketing Tagline lines.
After serving xx years a single dad enlists the help of his lawyer brother to gain custody of his child but….
State the obstacle. People will read your script to see how he gets over it.
Is the death of his wife part of the story or is it just to indicate that her is a single parent? You can’t fit in all the motivations, just the big ones. Is it important that he is confident to help the logline? I think you can drop it. Plus don’t ask a question, that is for marketing Tagline lines.
After serving xx years a single dad enlists the help of his lawyer brother to gain custody of his child but….
State the obstacle. People will read your script to see how he gets over it.