After waking up, deceased with no memory, in the local morgue, a high-flying college graduate must remember his past and come to terms with his death before his funeral to get another shot at his life.
Mike PedleySingularity
After waking up, deceased with no memory, in the local morgue, a high-flying college graduate must remember his past and come to terms with his death before his funeral to get another shot at his life.
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What do you mean by “a chance of a do-over”
What happens after he “come to terms with his life and death before his funeral”?
Otherwise the premise “waking up, deceased, in the local morgue..” is a strong one!
good luck Mike!
Another take:
A college ace wakes up with an amnesia in a local morgue to realize he must remember his life and come to terms with his death before his funeral or else he’ll remain earthbound forever
The story can certainly open with him “waking up” in a morgue.? But it seems to me that does not constitute the inciting incident.
Rather, the inciting incident is the beat he finds out he has a chance for a do over….if… Otherwise there is no reason, no purpose, no personal stakes for him to remember anything.? Knowing he can have a shot at a do over is what triggers the plot.
Yet this inciting incident comes at the end of the logline when an inciting incident should? lead off? a logline.
>>>before his funeral
Good, a ticking clock.? But I? suggest time he has before the funeral needs to be spelled out:? 24 hours…. 48 hours… whatever.
>>>come to terms with his death
What does that mean?? It’s vague, a generality.? And it relates to his subjective need.? A logline should be about a specific objective goal — about a person, place, event, or object that can be seen, be visualized on screen.? ?What’s the visual, the screen shot for “come to terms with his death”?
fwiw