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Mike PedleySingularity
Posted: June 22, 20182018-06-22T19:25:04+10:00 2018-06-22T19:25:04+10:00In: Adventure

After the high school bullies reduce the sweet librarian to tears, a popular kid with a bright future risks expulsion to lead an alliance of seven uniquely skilled students to make sure the bullies get kicked out first.

After the high school bullies reduce the sweet librarian to tears, a popular kid with a bright future risks expulsion to lead an alliance of seven uniquely skilled students to make sure the bullies get kicked out first.
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    4 Reviews

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    1. variable Uberwriter
      2018-06-22T21:03:39+10:00Added an answer on June 22, 2018 at 9:03 pm

      Guillerson covered similar premise with —
      https://loglines.org/logline/when-an-idealistic-boy-tired-of-bullying-establishes-a-secret-club-of-victims-to-impart-justice-some-members-of-the-group-begin-to-turn-into-very-dangerous-bullies/

      Which made me think….What’s the cool kid got to lose? Your version could benefit from clearly establishing stakes
      Good Luck mikepedley85!!

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    2. yqwertz Mentor
      2018-06-22T21:10:12+10:00Added an answer on June 22, 2018 at 9:10 pm

      Very difficult to imagine what happens in this film.

      Instead of “After witnessing the high school bullies taking it one step too far,” give us a concrete inciting incident. And what does “…put an end to their reign of terror” mean? In the films you mention as comparison, the reigns of terror end when the bandits are dead.

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    3. The_CNI Samurai
      2018-06-23T07:40:07+10:00Added an answer on June 23, 2018 at 7:40 am

      I can imagine the satirical “reimagining of Seven Samurai / The Magnificent Seven” set in a high school, however I feel that the main protagonist being “the coolest kid in school” doesn’t quite sell the stakes to me.

      Are these bullies the cool kids friends? Are they taking a risk by destroying that friendship as well? Will they risk their popularity in doing so?

      The risk of expulsion works better for an honor role student or a “nerdy” student instead, since the perception of “cool kids” tends to be that they don’t care for things like that and tend to be laid back.

      The most interesting concepts usually involve a character with a unique flaw that will challenge him/her both in achieving the external goal and internal need. It makes us wonder “will the hero achieve their goal?”

      Anyway just my thoughts, I will elaborate if needed or if anything comes to mind.

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    4. TullyArcher Samurai
      2018-06-28T02:23:24+10:00Added an answer on June 28, 2018 at 2:23 am

      I dig what I think is the heart of it, like a high school Michael Westen but more social, trying to be sneaky and whatnot, that’s fun. Does seem like a lot over some tears, though. Why not spend the time building her up? Why go straight to elaborate revenge that may cost him his future? If they’d actually hurt someone, that would make more sense. If the librarian is involved in the plotting, that makes more sense. I dunno, something’s not quite adding up. Why THIS bully? Why now, why THESE tears?

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