An aging party girl has it all: the fianc?, the house, the job.. and the crippling anxiety. Now she?s hiding a surprise pregnancy in order to get to know her bully mum, and if she has what it takes to be a better parent.

The first sentence is all setting and can be condensed to: “a woman with crippling anxiety”.

The second part I don’t understand. How does hiding the pregnancy help her to get to know her mother? Wouldn’t it be the other way around, the pregnancy brings them closer together?

The final goal, wanting to be a better parent, is admirable, but a bit weak on the dramatic side. (We don’t know how well we do as parents until our kids are twenty-five and living on their own.) Is there one particular thing that her mother did that she hated as a child and she wants to understand why her mother did it? The more concrete you make the goal, the better the logline.