Game of Life
Alan SmitheePenpusher
An ambitious football player (Giorgio) moves to Argentina, following his mentor Diego Maradona. Having a big dream to play professionally, the challenges that he overcomes are numerous. A friendship with a local friend helps him reach the top of football sector. The woman of his life proves to be much closer to him than he though. He keeps trying to put together a hard puzzle ? the game of life.
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before posting, s
hould really spell check:
“than he though(t)”
also grammar:
him reach the top of (the?) football sector
This is confusing, in that, when you say “The woman of his life proves to be much closer to him though” do you mean that she is possessive of Giorio, and preventing him of fulfilling his dream of playing for Argentina? Or, is the love between Giorgio and “his woman” so great that it is getting in the way of his dream of playing for Argentina?
I’m quite new to this, and one of the things that I struggle with is managing to fit a logline into one sentence; this ensures you are getting the whole point of the film across in the logline… quickly and sharply. By having to use four sentences you’re indicating a confusing and vague story. You could definitely lose “…the challenges that he overcomes are numerous…” — the logline needs to specifically state the challenges, and really, only the main challenge.
Here’s my shot (and again, I’m a bit new to this…)
“When finally getting the chance to fulfill his dream of playing for Argentina, a young aspiring footballer must choose between the friend that helped him get there and the new found love of his life”
“Following his dream to play professionally, an ambitious football player is forced to overcome cultural barriers to play for Argentina in the World Cup.”
1)
What is the protagonist’s goal ??
Is there a specific trophy.
2)
Names are not necessary BUT you can include Diego Maradona in this instance because he is a well known celebrity // historical figure, if this is important to your logline.
3)
Try to keep the concept minimal. Focus on what the hero’s journey is before adding supporting characters. The woman is a relationship in the story but the story is not about him and her.
4)
We know the difficulty the protagonist is facing. Therefore it becomes Irrelevant to include info such as “He keeps trying to put together a hard puzzle – the game of life.” This is more of a tagline.
Hope this helps. 😀
Tor