Samurai
Posted: 2019-11-05T00:49:24+10:00 In:

An ex-con sets out to kill the reformed paedophile who he believes murdered his child, only to fall for the man’s protective sister.

–

Share

    Post a review

    You must login to add an answer.

    To see everything,

    2 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      Some of my comments on your previous version are now rendered redundant hahaha!

      What happens after he falls for the sister? What’s his new goal? Like I mentioned in the previous version of this logline, is the relationship with the sister the A-story or the B-story?

      Maybe something like (from the MPR):

      but when he discovers the real truth the ex-con must protect the sex offender from a community that despises him.

      My attempt isn’t perfect by any stretch … but I think since the story is primarily about the two convicts (which I think is great) it’s important to keep that front and centre.

      • 0
    2. Samurai

      Loglines I’m experimenting with…

      1.? An ex-con sets out to kill the paedophile who molested him as a child only to fall for the man’s protective sister. – DPG’s one.

      2. An ex-con sets out to kill a reformed paedophile whom he believes is responsible for the disappearances of several children.

      – edging towards thriller territory here. This one is very weak.

      3. An ex-con sets out to kill the reformed paedophile who he believes murdered his child, only to fall for the man’s protective sister.

      – I like this one the most just because the goal is very specific and I think the conflict pops.

      4. An ex-con, defending a reformed paedophile from an angry mob ? begins to doubt the man?s innocence. -? mikepedley’s idea.

      • 0