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Michael FineLogliner
Posted: May 21, 20202020-05-21T14:24:10+10:00 2020-05-21T14:24:10+10:00In: Horror

An insecure wheelchair-bound college girl spends the weekend at a cottage with friends where they are attacked by zombies. They don’t know why until she discovers that the zombies were all murder victims of her friends – and she was next.

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    2 Reviews

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    1. Michael Fine Logliner
      2020-05-22T03:08:04+10:00Added an answer on May 22, 2020 at 3:08 am

      I agree about the active goal, but the main point of the movie is a disabled girl overcoming her physical disability and emotional insecurity to save her friends (and ultimately herself!) The zombies ending up as the “good guys” is collateral benefit.

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    2. Mike Pedley Singularity
      2020-05-22T00:41:05+10:00Added an answer on May 22, 2020 at 12:41 am

      You say “they don’t know why” when all the friends probably have a fair idea. I would tell the logline from her perspective only. She’s the protagonist. “She doesn’t know why”. That being said, this is all kinda irrelevant info anyway. There’s a lot of unnecessary stuff in this and it could easily be condensed into a single sentence.

      This whole logline needs to be framed with a MPR (mid-point reversal). I think the interesting thing about this story is the zombies are almost saving her from her fate. I would play this up – I think it’s your hook!

      Whichever way you rewrite this, the protagonist has no goal. You’ve given us the inciting incident (attacked by zombies) and then the MPR (the discovery the zombies are all her friend’s murder victims) but in neither situation have you told us what our hero is planning to do about this.

      Hope this helps.

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