An inspiring chronicle of a novice biker girl’s 3,000- mile long solo heroic Motorbike quest to win her inspirational nomad soul mate.
shivaLogliner
An inspiring chronicle of a novice biker girl’s 3,000- mile long solo heroic Motorbike quest to win her inspirational nomad soul mate.
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An amateur motor-biker sets out on a dangerous 3000 mile quest in order to impress a guy/girl.
I hate to be THAT guy, BUT…
I don’t find this interesting, nor do I think it has a story worthy problem/dramatic need. I have to also add that, while harsh, this is my honest opinion which is genuinely intended as constructive feedback.
As it stands, the logline lacks motivation aside from getting the boy. This could work as a girl meets boy love story, but since it’s currently labeled an adventure story the actions simply arn’t enough.
Even if you were to change the genre to romance, establish a motivating event and a clear goal – meet the boy, fall in love now she must get the boy. What will act 2 look like? Her riding the bike, then riding some more, then riding some more… What’s the obstacle? Where is the conflict going to come from? What’s the end game? How will the camera know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she got the boy in the end? Is there a meeting point, a homestead he lives in?
The closest film I can think of to this, which succeed in recent years, is Into The Wild. However, that was a man V nature survival based on a true story. If the same is true in this case you need to mention it in the logline, if not, I fail to see how this will elicit enough emotion and excitement in a reader to make them want to greenlight it.
I ,too, think it has the makings for an interesting story.? But the logline needs to flesh out some details.
Like, where does the motorbike quest take place?? That’s going to be crucial factor in making the film so it should be in the logline.
Also does she (coincidentally) find her soul mate in the course of the her motorbike trip or does she (intentionally) undertake the trip for the express purpose of winning the heart of a specific guy?
And there’s no need to include “inspirational” in the logline.? Loglines should sell the “sizzle” not the steak, yes, but the “sizzle” has to refer to some real meat in the script.? Whether it’s “inspirational” is a matter of individual taste.?
Sounds interesting. You got some good things working here. Is this based on a true story?
Not sure how the nomad soul mate plays into the story. Where does this take place?