Penpusher
Posted: 2016-07-06T05:29:51+10:00 In:

An opera singer suffering from throat cancer lands in a gig with drug addict and very strict musician who would always push her to sing aloud.

An opera singer suffering from throat cancer lands in a gig with drug addict and very strict musician who would always push her to sing aloud.
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    4 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      And then what happens? ?The logline sets up a (partial) 1st Act situation with no 2nd Act ?plot.?What s the singer’s 2nd ?(& 3rd) Act objective goal?

      What’s the dramatic problem? ? She’s?supposed to sing “aloud” — that’s what opera singers do. ?Or do you mean the musician pushes her to sing too loud — strain her voice? ?Please clarify.

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    2. Logliner

      Make sure you have your loglines proofread before letting anyone see them. Usually, one lands a gig, not in a gig. Is the drug addict and musician the same person? It’s not clear. “with *a* drug addict and very strict musician who *always pushes* her to sing aloud”?

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    3. Singularity

      Agreed with the above comments.

      It sounds like you’re trying to set it up as if the gig is a great opportunity, but?the way it’s worded in the logline makes the gig seem like a potentially bad gig not a good one. Perhaps best to describe the drug addict as a genius composer or world renowned musician, etc? instead.

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    4. Penpusher

      Guys thanks for your comments it really helps 🙂

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