Logliner
Posted: 2017-12-28T05:50:06+10:00 In:

An reluctant bride is caught between her soon to be husband and her best friend who is intent on her becoming his bride by any means necessary.

An reluctant bride is caught between her soon to be husband and her best friend who is intent on her becoming his bride by any means necessary.
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    4 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      What event sets the story into motion?
      What must the lead do about it?
      Because, as written the lead in your logline is not pro-active…
      That doesn’t mean you lead is not pro-active, just that; that element of your story (What the character must do) needs to be added clearly and concisely?to your logline.

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    2. Logliner

      It is missing a little detail kinda like a backstory

      So if I were to say

      After? rejecting her best friend a newlywed bride must protect herself and her husband from a jealous friend who is intent on making her his bride even if that means murder.

      I know it sounds like a lifetime movie but im still fleshing out the details.

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    3. Uberwriter

      I’m confused as to whom is intent on her to be married, the would-be husband or the best friend?

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    4. Mentor

      The way it is written makes it seem – tone wise – like this other potential husband is going to kidnap her. I don?t think that is the case. Yep needs that hook, why is she deciding now? When an ex once thought dead returns on the night before her wedding… or when she is sent on assignment to write a piece about the one that got away a week before her wedding…

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