Cross-Over
Eli TeirelinckPenpusher
After falling through a wormhole, a powerful young superhero with supernatural power is thrown through a whirlwind when he finds himself in the "Real World" where he and his adventures have been nothing more than a series of books.
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A little wordy, but I like the concept. This is a good set-up, but it doesn’t really tell us what the story’s about. It feels like this is what happens in Act One.
A few things to consider:
-What’s your hero’s goal? Getting home? Proving he’s real?
-Now that he’s “here”, what happens now? Is he on his own? Does a “regular person” help him? What’s the primary storyline?
-Any superhero-based story needs a villain. Who’s his, and what role does he play in the overall story?
-“powerful young superhero with supernatural powers” is too much of the same thing. “Young superhero” works fine. Same with “wormhole” and “whirlwind”. I’d keep the former.
-What kind of guy is he? Brash? Egotistical? Naive? What adjective best describes him?
The more I think about this, the more it seems similar to LAST ACTION HERO. Not a great movie, but maybe worth watching to see how the story compares to yours.
Good luck!
A little wordy, but I like the concept. This is a good set-up, but it doesn’t really tell us what the story’s about. It feels like this is what happens in Act One.
A few things to consider:
-What’s your hero’s goal? Getting home? Proving he’s real?
-Now that he’s “here”, what happens now? Is he on his own? Does a “regular person” help him? What’s the primary storyline?
-Any superhero-based story needs a villain. Who’s his, and what role does he play in the overall story?
-“powerful young superhero with supernatural powers” is too much of the same thing. “Young superhero” works fine. Same with “wormhole” and “whirlwind”. I’d keep the former.
-What kind of guy is he? Brash? Egotistical? Naive? What adjective best describes him?
The more I think about this, the more it seems similar to LAST ACTION HERO. Not a great movie, but maybe worth watching to see how the story compares to yours.
Good luck!
It’s a very convoluted way of saying:
“After a wormhole transports a fictional superhero off the page and into the real world, …”
Okay, you’ve got an interesting ‘what if’? Now where are you taking it? What’s the protagonist’s flaw, what’s his goal, who is trying to stop him and what are the stakes of failure? Compelling action is needed here.
You don’t need to explain that a superhero is ‘powerful’ or has ‘supernatural power’ – generally these things are implied by the common understanding of what a superhero is.
Is it the whirlwind or the wormhole that transports him? Pick one and stick with it.
It’s a very convoluted way of saying:
“After a wormhole transports a fictional superhero off the page and into the real world, …”
Okay, you’ve got an interesting ‘what if’? Now where are you taking it? What’s the protagonist’s flaw, what’s his goal, who is trying to stop him and what are the stakes of failure? Compelling action is needed here.
You don’t need to explain that a superhero is ‘powerful’ or has ‘supernatural power’ – generally these things are implied by the common understanding of what a superhero is.
Is it the whirlwind or the wormhole that transports him? Pick one and stick with it.
This sounds like a play on fish out of water and an exercise in dramatic irony. But once the fun of seeing the MC deal with the new surrounding and learn the rules of the real world they will need a plot and that’s not coming through the logline.
There have been many films where a fictional character is magically transformed into the “real” world: as mentioned previously Last Action Hero, The Purple Rose of Cairo, Stranger Than Fiction, the end of The Never Ending Story, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Space Jam, even in a Halloween special of The Simpsons Homer falls through a wormhole into the “real” world.
As a well established trope the magical mechanism by which the MC travels to the real world needs little if any explanation best to focus as mentioned above on the MC, his or her goal, and the antagonist.
This sounds like a play on fish out of water and an exercise in dramatic irony. But once the fun of seeing the MC deal with the new surrounding and learn the rules of the real world they will need a plot and that’s not coming through the logline.
There have been many films where a fictional character is magically transformed into the “real” world: as mentioned previously Last Action Hero, The Purple Rose of Cairo, Stranger Than Fiction, the end of The Never Ending Story, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Space Jam, even in a Halloween special of The Simpsons Homer falls through a wormhole into the “real” world.
As a well established trope the magical mechanism by which the MC travels to the real world needs little if any explanation best to focus as mentioned above on the MC, his or her goal, and the antagonist.
As the others have said. The logline has an inciting incident in the form of a force majeure that hurls the protagonist across the thresh hold into another world and transforms him into an ordinary person.
What must he do when “he finds himself” as an ordinary person in the “real world”? What becomes his objective goal? Who opposes him — who is the antagonist? What’s at stake?
As the others have said. The logline has an inciting incident in the form of a force majeure that hurls the protagonist across the thresh hold into another world and transforms him into an ordinary person.
What must he do when “he finds himself” as an ordinary person in the “real world”? What becomes his objective goal? Who opposes him — who is the antagonist? What’s at stake?