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GeraldLogliner
Posted: March 22, 20172017-03-22T20:55:13+10:00 2017-03-22T20:55:13+10:00In: Drama

Another try: Faced with bankruptcy, a down-on-luck man endangers his life by crossing a high-risk territory to get money to pay for his son?s emergency operation.

Another try: Faced with bankruptcy, a down-on-luck man endangers his life by crossing a high-risk territory to get money to pay for his son?s emergency operation.
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    1. Foxtrot25 Uberwriter
      2017-03-23T00:16:11+10:00Added an answer on March 23, 2017 at 12:16 am

      “High Risk territory” jumped out at me, so that’s good. Even though high-risk can mean many things. Perhaps cut it down a bit.

      A bankrupt man ventures into dangerous territory to get money to pay for his son’s emergency operation.

      And even now, there can be a better version. I don’t like using “to” twice in the same sentence.

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    2. Gerald Logliner
      2017-03-23T00:22:32+10:00Added an answer on March 23, 2017 at 12:22 am

      Thanks a lot man. Sounds even better though.

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