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kkhLogliner
Posted: November 6, 20192019-11-06T08:53:50+10:00 2019-11-06T08:53:50+10:00In: Fantasy

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    2 Reviews

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    1. Mike Pedley Singularity
      2019-11-06T19:00:49+10:00Added an answer on November 6, 2019 at 7:00 pm

      “A solitary traveller who magically spreads joy to others”… If you’re referring to Santa Claus, say Santa Claus. If it’s not Santa Claus… I’m wondering why it’s not Santa Claus hahaha.

      I agree with thedarkhorse, the 1926 LA setting is somewhat irrelevant in this film. Nothing would change if this film was set in the modern day. Only include the “time period” if the story simply could not be told at other time.

      Why is the toy-making capitalist thwarting the protagonist’s quest to find his family? It seems like a very “evil for the sake of evil” motive. I can understand why a toymaking capitalist would want to dominate Christmas and take over from Santa – the 1985 Christmas classic, Santa Claus: the Movie is exactly that (if you haven’t seen it, watch it!), but that’s not what’s going on here… he’s trying to stop this guy finding his family?? Makes no sense. How does the antagonist even know that he’s looking for his family?

      I would suggest putting this in the “Family” category. Sounds like a perfect family film to me.

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    2. thedarkhorse Samurai
      2019-11-06T18:28:54+10:00Added an answer on November 6, 2019 at 6:28 pm

      I’d lose the 1926 LA (from the logline anyways). Managers/agents/producers find period stuff hard to market.

      Christmas stuff should do well though ha.

      A traveler who magically spreads joy to others searches for the family he thought lost centuries ago whilst an evil toy-maker stands in his way.

      – from first look that looks like it’s set during Christmas. Still feels quite half-baked. Half-realised.

      You might want to do a quick overview on the characters (what they want, what stands in their way) and perhaps a synopsis. You don’t have to show it to us. It’s just for you to know.

      The more you know – the greater the creative choices.

      Play around and see what sticks.

      Again – take what you need. Discard the rest.

      Nobody here is perfect.

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