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sloanpetersonLogliner
Posted: October 8, 20152015-10-08T08:28:28+10:00 2015-10-08T08:28:28+10:00In: Drama

As New World settlers prepare to fight Native Indians, a mild mannered sailor must likewise find the courage to challenge his closest friend, a military hero for the heart of the idealistic woman he secretly loves.

As New World settlers prepare to fight Native Indians, a mild mannered sailor must likewise find the courage to challenge his closest friend, a military hero for the heart of the idealistic woman he secretly loves.
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    1. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2015-10-08T09:41:27+10:00Added an answer on October 8, 2015 at 9:41 am

      This doesn’t describe a plot as it lacks plot specific detail such as an inciting incident and goal. It also raises too many questions and provides too little information for the reader and writer to understand what the story is really about.

      Why must he challenge his friend now and not a month ago or a month from now?

      After he finds the courage to challenge the friend then what? What will he actually do? What does challenge his friend mean? What will this look like? After challenging him if he is successful what will he do?

      Lastly the new world setting and settlers V natives seams unrelated to the plot or at least at this stage form the logline, why is this setting important to this story?

      Hope this helps.

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