One lonely Filipino seafarer in a cruise ship finds comfort to his roommate who saves money for his wedding but he unexpectedly falls for him, and as they sail together his feelings grow deeper until he’s force to reveal it.
Alan SmitheePenpusher
One lonely Filipino seafarer in a cruise ship finds comfort to his roommate who saves money for his wedding but he unexpectedly falls for him, and as they sail together his feelings grow deeper until he’s force to reveal it.
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I can see a concept, but I can’t see a logline with the needed elements.
Discovering your own identity can be part of your characters dramatic need. But you want him to have some kind of visual goal as well in order to visualize the story.
Preparing for a wedding is one point you make. What does that mean? Too vague.
The other point is attempting suicide. How does this reflect the direction of your story?
Great story but work on the logline a little better. Keep up the good work.
Seems like it could make for an interesting philosophical story and I get a bit of a Life of Pi vibe, however, there is a problem with the characters’ common need of finding identity as savinh0 stated earlier – you need to have a physical, visual goal. In regards to this, It’d probably be a good idea to state your character’s psychology in the logline so the character’s flaw is easy to pick up and gives us an insight as to how these characters are supposed to change as they’re trying to achieve their goal.
I hope this helps : )