As war consumes a planet, a noble warrior is born to pick a side and it is up to him to protect them and ensure their survival. It’s rusty. I am no writer, which is why I need your help. Be brutally honest. Please and thank you.
FluffayfishPenpusher
As war consumes a planet, a noble warrior is born to pick a side and it is up to him to protect them and ensure their survival. It’s rusty. I am no writer, which is why I need your help. Be brutally honest. Please and thank you.
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I suggest you look at the Formula tab on the top bar to learn more about logline conventions.
To get you started in the right direction;
What is the inciting incident for the main character?
What motivates him to take action?
What will the main character do to ensure their survival?
One thing that will help your story and logline is to make it personal.
Winning the war should mean the entire world to the warrior because if he doesn’t he will lose something of infinite value to him or because if he does he will gain something that means the world to him.
In the case of your story you should ask yourself, what does you character want more than anything.
There is a rule for screenwriting. ?Start the story as late as possible and finish as soon as possible. ?That prevent boredom and focus the story. ?In reality, we probably don’t care about his childhood, that can be a three minute montage (I wouldn’t do that either). ?Plus people are born a gender not a profession.
So try this (start late – end soon).
A Noble warrior must choose a side in a global conflict know his decision will bring and end to the opposing race.
A noble warrior must choose a side in a global conflict know his decision will bring about his own death.
Having a logline which is just a decision isn’t really enough to support an entire film. ?Give him a goal that will have numerous obstacles.
A noble warrior discovers a secret that leads him to betray his army by supporting a greatly outnumbered local resistance, he must now rescue his family who believe him to be a traitor.
Not your story and the line needs work and tightening. ?But you can see so much conflict to explore.
Reared?amidst?a??global war?with mutually assured destructive consequences, an anointed warrior who hides his true pacifistic beliefs??must choose to fight with one of the many ?immoral armies before all of mankind is?obliterated