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thedarkhorseSamurai
A washed-up singer and a one-time novelist spend the night falling in love, but a dark secret from his past threatens to destroy their relationship.
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Longer version: Both suffering a career setback, a washed-up singer and a one-time novelist spend the night howling at the moon, opening closed doors, and shedding past loves, but a dark secret from his past threatens to destroy their mad, magical night.
– this one is for me to use when writing.
I like the idea of two fallen stars finding each other and in the process not only growing as characters but also reanimating their careers.
The problem with your logline is that a “dark secret from his past” is really vague and you’ll have problems visualizing it in the process of your story. What is the secret of the protagonist and why is it preventing him from having a relationship with another person?
I say this because secrets are often, almost always, part of romance movies- both drama and comedy.
So in order to have a hook in your story, you need to describe his secret properly.
His outer goal is to get (keep) the woman, but his inner goal is to overcome his past and reveal his secret in order to be sincere to the beloved woman.
Now you can go on to explain the secret and build the obstacles for your protagonist.